when i see slut-shaming firsthand it often comes from parents policing their children and their children’s friends. it’s often a girl’s first real exposure to gender based double standards. it’s illogical and confusing to a girl who’s been told she can do anything a boy can do for her whole life until that point. it’s particularly egregious in this country, where we teach our kids to assume equality and then effectively turn on them as they become teenagers by enforcing repressive, damaging, antiqued and gendered rules like these.
slut shaming enforces a sexual double standard in which boys can engage in sexual behavior freely, whereas girls can only do it when it’s part of transaction that includes “true” love or marriage. next time you talk about, with a wink and a nod, what a “man about town” or “player” a boy is, think about saying the same thing about his sister. the rule in our house is that we don’t ever call a girl or woman a slut, because it’s a code word for a double standard that punishes girls and rewards boys for the exact same behavior."